vErSe-aTiLiTy

Bring your flood straight to my sea
and wash away the hurt inside of me

You just became
another number
another name
in my little black book

I'm willing to bet
you don't know yet
all the hell that I took

Your keys are by the bottle
that drank you out my door
I don't think I'll be seeing
much of you round here anymore

Just where is the problem
with looking out for number one
It shouldn't be such a suprise
it's all you've ever done

Still stuck there in her hands
that's where your heart is now
I gave you everything I had
All that life would allow

IT'S NOT A COMA
IT'S NOT A SLEEP
IT'S NOT EMOTION THAT I KEEP
I WATCH THIS WORLD WITH PERFECT VISION
NEVER LOSING FOCUS
NEVER LOSING CONTROL
ALWAYS WATING...
WAITING FOR A CHANCE
TO BROADEN MY SEAS
ENGULF THE MADNESS THAT CREATES EACH BREATH
A DESIGNER LIFE
HELD TOGETHER WITH GLUE
DISSOLVES IN WATER...
IN A STORMY SEA

THE SUN BURNS AWAY THE NIGHT
WRAPPED AROUND ME AS I AWAKEN
TO ANOTHER DAY WITH DAMAGED SIGHT

SO I LIE STILL AND THINK
MAYBE THE DAY WON'T SEE ME
SOMEDAY I'LL BE THE MISSING LINK

IF I DON'T SMELL THE SMOKE
HOLD MY BREATH, TRY NOT TO CRY
MAYBE THIS TIME I WON'T CHOKE

ENTICING THOUGH IT MAY BE
THE ROMANCE OF SANITY
WILL NEVER ONCE BE A PART OF ME

OF BADLY BROKEN THOUGHTS
I CREATED A LIFE
IN WHICH I AM NOW CAUGHT

Happy Medium
I hate this happy medium
or I would hate it if I could feel
But I don't anymore
I've forgotten what it is and what it means
It's not a coma
It's not a sleep
It's a death of emotion I keep inside
I watch the world through perfect vision
never losing focus
never getting angry
never crying
I want it to stop
I think...
what do I want?
I can't remember anymore
So I've got a decision
though I've already made it
now I've just got to do it
but what if I lose focus
lose control
lose all this I've gained?
but what have I really gained?
a false peace of mind?
a sense of hapiness overgrown by a sense of nothingness?
So I'll go another day
I'll watch myself through perfect blue
I'll do those things I always do
and I'll stick with my decision of inaction and maybe it'll work
If not I won't care
because I can't anymore

Were my words invisible to you
When I wrote them did they disappear
I know I thought them
Does that make them real
I was wide awake
The whole time you were asleep
I wish I’d have known
Then maybe I wouldn’t be so tired
I feel you in my sleep
I can’t shake your memory
I don’t need a heart more shattered
I’d just begun to glue it back together
I hurt today
My eyes don’t see
My ears don’t hear
My voice is weak

THE SUN BURNS AWAY THE NIGHT WRAPPED AROUND ME AS I AWAKEN TO ANOTHER DAY WITH DAMAGED SIGHT

Why aren't you here when I need you
I've thought of a million things to ask you

I always knew you'd walk away from me
I just never thought you'd run out of things to say to me

I don't understand what I did wrong
I guess I just thought we'd learned to get along

I don't comprehend why
I didn't think you were such a bad guy

Maybe I should have listened
taken better notes
I never dreamed this would be
the last things that we wrote

I've just begun to face this
take it for the truth
I turned my back for awhile
and left it all to you

I wrote you a letter
you never answered back
I'm really not a bitch
why can't you see that

How could you just walk away
and leave this in my hands
You took a piece of my heart and soul
and kept it to amuse your friends

Now I'm very alone and I think I like this more
No more unsure comments no more slamming doors

most of the time i'm okay with all of this, then something crosses my mind that only you could get. a sadness overwhelmes me when i realize that you're gone. you stupid piece of shit! how could you treat me like this? i just don't understand it. i've gone over this 1000 times. i think i knew it was all coming in the back of my mind. i just don't turn my back and i can't believe that you would. this is so fucking pathetic! sometimes i think it was a dream. how could you hurt me this bad? i didn't even fucking know you, but what an effect you had. i know i'll be alright, i'm stronger than you'll ever be. you had me for a minute though. i thought you could compete with me. you were a master of illusion. down to the alias and the secretive behavior. i know it was just a game for you, but for me it was more than that. i've learned i'm too reckless with my heart and i need to control that.

Now I've walked away
I don't want to see you smile
I don't want to know a thing
I just want to be me for awhile

I don't care what you are thinking
what's on your mind
I don't want to know a thing
I just want to be me for awhile

I've come to this decision
I'm going to let you be
I can walk away with grace and pride
and you'll never know you hurt me

I'm sure it will be for the best
if I leave and don't look back
I'm tired of the fucking copouts
and the lists of things I lack

So I'll see you down the road
wish you all the best
I hope it all works out for you
maybe life's just a test

Old stuff I found

Yesterday you walked on my dreams like you owned the place
you disregarded me
I looked at you expecting more
you acted like you'd never played this game before

There's nothing I can say to you
nothing I can say
Nothing I can say to you
to change your mind today

Yesterday we changed alot of things
you packed your things and sad goodbye to me
I looked at you expecting more
but only caught a glimpse of you slamming another door

There's nothing I can say to you
nothing I can say
Nothing I can say to you
to keep you here today

Yesterday just seems like a dream
so to see your face was too much for me
I looked at you expecting more
but all I got was less than before

There's nothing I can say to you
nothing I can say
Nothing I can say to you
to hide these feelings today

Yesterday is no longer hard for me
I never see your face
you never bother me
I don't look at you and expect anymore
now I'm the one that's living life once more

There's nothing you can say to me
nothing you can say
Nothing you can say to me
to make me want you today

Sometimes you can't run far enough
The lights aren't bright enough
You can't seem to drive fast enough
The music isn't loud enough
Can't leave it all behind
it just keeps catching up
Can't ever seem to find
enough water to fill your cup
Sometimes you can't sleep enough
it's never dark enough
Sometimes you can't scream loud enough
or hit hard enough
Can't leave anything behind
It's all going to catch up with you
The hands of time to you will only bind
all the things you'll say and do

You've been on my mind
why? I dont' know
scared of what I might find
where will this go?
You sit at home watching tv
sleepless in seattle is on
it's one of your favorites, this movie
a battle over the remote that you won
I wouldn't complain though
which is the weird part
I'd see a softer side start to show
a side with a big heart
someone wants to massage my feet
after a long day
too good to be true to meet
someone who feels this way
but there you are
as confusing as ever
I don't think this can go very far
I just can't bring myself to say never
Where will this end?
I don't have a clue
What if I break instead of bend
all that's left of you?
~KH